The Senior Expo
By Nikki Pelezo / Dirt Roads
“Hey, let’s go to the Senior Expo at Maud Cobb Center today. It says here in the Journal that they are giving free blood pressure checks and you can even get your cholesterol checked,” I explained to Charlie, my husband, as I was getting my second cup of coffee.
“Sure why not, we might even learn a thing or two. It says here they’re having over 60 local businesses participating,” replied Charlie.
Charlie and I parked at the Maud Cobb Center and noticed the unloading of several buses from the nursing homes and retirement communities in Longview. We entered and finally got into the bowels, so to speak, of the Senior Expo. The place was packed. We could hardly maneuver down the aisles from the sheer volume of senior citizens. We noticed that all the businesses, ranging from Home Health Care to Funeral Homes, were giving out little favors to everyone. A post-it-note tablet here, yardsticks there, an ink pen over here, letter openers, tiny little screw drivers, refrigerator magnets, key chains, Kleenex holders, baggie clips, bottled water, shoe laces and tons of brochures.
I looked at Charlie and he looked at me and we both knew we hit the mother lode. About this time those bus loads of seniors had entered the “bowels” and many of the seniors were on those Little Rascal scooters. The inside of Maud Cobb Center came almost to a screeching halt. We noticed the free stuff was being picked up at an alarming rate.
It’s hard to elbow yourself over to a business offering free bottled water with the free scratch pad, when other, much older seniors are out for the same thing. We senior citizens know no fear. Some of us, and I won’t name names, picked up stuff without getting the obligatory brochures. What the heck, it’s dog eat dog at the Senior Expo.
By mutual shrugs and pointed fingers we decided to get out of Dodge. While making our way to the exit Charlie noticed a business giving out full size Baby Ruth candy bars. He motioned me to go left while he went behind the table. As he reached across the table to take possession of the last full size Baby Ruth, I saw the crook of an old lady’s cane wrap itself around his neck. What did I do? I shoved and elbowed my way into the fracas and grabbed the Baby Ruth. Charlie was a little worse for wear, but we had a pretty good day.
While driving home we discovered we failed to get our blood pressure and cholesterol checked, but we had two bags full needless crap, and oh what a good time we had.