Elocution Is Subjective
By Nikki Pelezo / Dirt Roads
We have a relative in our family that is precious to us, but she can be rather a mess at times. I suppose we all have one of these, either hidden away or he/she is “in your face” most of the time. Our delightful relative is an “in your face” kind of gal.
I think she is slowly losing her hearing, because things coming out of her mouth don’t exactly make sense. Last month my husband was in the hospital because he became dehydrated during a bout with the flue. While he was in the hospital, Rena Pearl drove 30 miles to see him. (Her driving is a whole other story) She was sitting watching Charlie get up several times to make a run to the bathroom, she told him she would be right back as she was going to Walmart to get him a 6-pack of Gatorade because this is how the doctors restore a patient’s “electrical lights.” Informative to say the least.
Last week she was telling us about her granddaughter vacationing in Florida and was using a marvelous beach house. She went on and on about what a great deal her granddaughter got and how little she had to pay for this rare opportunity to be right there on the beach for a full week. Being polite, we asked her how her granddaughter came to have this rare opportunity. “Profit Sharing, that’s what they call it in Florida,” Rena Pearl replied. We are assuming “Time Share” and “Profit Sharing” is the same thing to Rena Pearl.
This same granddaughter is also recovering from “Gasket By-Pass” surgery, We had to let that one go because Rena Pearl hates being laughed at. The reason this granddaughter had to have “gasket by-pass” is because she had to have her “Utris” removed during a “Hysterical Surgery” and got fat. Her exact words not mine.
Oh, before I forget, Rena Pearl’s husband, Uncle Mike, had to have “Stencils” put in his heart arteries. Poor Uncle Mike, I bet that still hurts. Also, according to her last letter, she is suffering from an In-Groan toenail. Don’t you just love her?
I wouldn’t want to live anywhere than right here in East Texas. If you’re real quiet and listen intently, you’ll hear us sing when we talk.