Dirt Roads

Going Green, But Beware of Garlic Goot

Going Green, But Beware of Garlic Goot

By Nikki Pelezo / Dirt Roads

Photo by Nikki Pelezo

Well, the time has come for me to step up and be counted by those persnickety eco-people as a member of the Going Green crowd.  I’ve been at it now for about three weeks and am close to losing my mind.

Let’s start off  by saying something about those homemade grocery bags, you know the kind that are crocheted.  Well, I crocheted a couple but it’s not something you would want to use.  I put in a jar of peanut butter, a can of green beans and two bananas.  I grabbed the crocheted handles and all the items including the bag stretched out and hit the floor right there in Walmart.  I guess I didn’t get my gauge right when I crocheted this marvelous shopping bag or times have changed and the makers of twine have come up with a revolutionary product called ‘elastic twine’.

I thought I had come up with a great idea when I peeled a pound of shrimp last night for supper.  I went out to a portion of the garden that won’t be in use this coming year, dug a hole and put the shrimp peels in along with potato, cucumber and carrot peels.  I assumed this would be nice and tidy until next year.  This morning I woke to a four foot deep hole, dug by some critter that loves shrimp, but didn’t think much of the vegetable peelings.  Just to think that there is a gourmand, yet discriminating, critter living in the woods behind my house.

I’ve tried making my own clothes detergent which ended up making my clothes have the smell of dirty feet.  I’ve made my own carpet stain remover and now have to have a professional come in and eliminate the polka dot effect on my carpet.  I’ve made a solution that will get rid of soap scum in the shower, but will make the bottom of the shower slick as owl poop.

I guess the worst of my Going Green attempts is the homemade shampoo.  Not only did the shampoo not clean my hair but I had the distinct aroma of a Caesar salad.  I’ve been looking at *Garlic Goot on the internet.  You make a paste out of garlic, add some olive oil and smear it on your feet to ward off toenail fungus.  Let me see if I understand this— if toenail fungus was sort of passing by, the stench of the garlic would make him pass up my toenails?  Is that how you see it?  Or do you put it on French bread and take it internally?

*Google Garlic Goot and check it out!

3 Replies to “Going Green, But Beware of Garlic Goot

  1. I do love reading your blogs. Garlic would kill ME, never mind toenail fungus … the slightest whiff and I’m reaching for the antihistamine. I’ve never skated on owl poop so will take your word for it, LOL. Our back garden gets dug up regularly – you’ve got love the badgers, though – I wonder if it was they who dug up your shrimps?

  2. You are just too much. A good laugh makes my day. We need more of your anecdotes. Keep them coming.

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