Pallbearers Finish Dead Last, but Don’t Die Trying

By Jeff Campbell / Jeff In Jefferson

Sometimes you open your mouth and then you have to pay the price. Last month as preparations and promotions were going on for the Jefferson Heritage Triathlon, I casually mentioned that if a team needed a cyclist I would volunteer. The next thing I know I am being recruited for the “Pallbearers Triathlon Team” sponsored by Haggard Funeral Home. Our team consisted of our City Administrator, Shawn Farrell (5K run), Jackson McCormick, Austin Street Bistro (½ mile swim) and myself (25K bike).

As a mountain biker, I had to dig out the old road bike, dust it off and tune it up. My training consisted of rides at Caddo Lake Wildlife Refuge, which is flat. This was bad move number one, as the triathlon bike course was extremely hilly, especially the dam road at Lake O’ The Pines. Also our iconic Riverport BBQ opened and riding the single speed a half mile to eat BBQ is not a good triathlon training plan (bad move number two).

When it was all over we finished fourth out of four teams (less than two minutes from third place!) but we had a lot of fun. So at the end of the day the “Pallbearers” were dead last but did not end up dead or even in the emergency room.